What it’s like to pursue a career in the music industry when you’re Disabled

I have mental ill health (severe depression with psychotic symptoms, anxiety, panic attacks, trauma), Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS), vertigo and migraines, and although it’s mainly controlled, I have asthma too. I am also dyslexic. I think this is majority if not all of what I live with – fun right? But why am I sharing this with you?

Back around May 2020, I submitted my music university assignment for a module called Industry Ready. It was to create a presentation and essay portfolio of what I was doing to help myself get into the music industry and any issues I may face. Having a disability was one of these issues.

According to an Attitude is Everything report (2019), over 70% of music professionals would not disclose details of any health condition or concerns due to the fear of it affecting their relationships in the industry, as well as concerns that it would cause problems. 96% of these respondents mentioned that they agreed that the music industry could be more inclusive for musicians and artist with access requirements.

This is something that was emphasised in Reshape Music, Youth Music’s recent report exploring Disabled musician’s experiences of music education and beyond. Matt Griffiths, Youth Music’s CEO said, “Reshape Music illustrates in very stark terms that the views, lived experience and expertise of Disabled people are still absent in the planning and delivery of music education and music-making. As a result, policies, programmes and infrastructure are often developed in a way that excludes their involvement and participation…”

The report was shocking, but it didn’t surprise me.

I didn’t think I faced too many barriers due to my disabilities until I was diagnosed with ME in January this year. Although my doctors now consider me to have had this for many years, it had gotten worse in January. I now live a life where I am sometimes struggling to butter four Jacob’s crackers. I have no energy to get up and go on my Mac mini to compose music, and I spend a lot of time stuck in bed as I can’t move elsewhere very well. I don’t have the resources to create music from bed.

During the progress of my diagnosis in January, I was in and out of hospital for three weeks. Unfortunately due to this, I was removed from my initial role.

I was still taking part as best I could, but I felt like I had to justify myself and my newly-diagnosed disability. Even then, the response I got was ‘well tough!’. Everything I was working on was taken from me, and when I was finally able to return physically, I kept asking for work, but it was like I was pushed aside. I had the same comments again, “If you cared, you’d show up.”